The Frumpy Files

Yes I'm Still Here and Now I'm Moving

2009-06-11T09:21:00.003-05:00

Not that I have any readers here, but just in case someone actually finds themselves wondering what happened to the Frump- let me direct you to my new blog:

www.longingforlillie.blogspot.com

We have finally seen movement in our adoption journey and it seems awfully silly to pick up here and start posting again after all this time. Oh, and FYI, the infected kidney stone that could have killed me dead DID serve a purpose after all. (Did you have any question that it would?) It caused us to start thinking about older child adoption. Which led us to our beautiful daughter Lillie. We will document our journey to meet her in the weeks & months ahead. If I promise to be more faithful in posting, will you join us? And pray for us? And comment once in a while so I don't feel so lonely here in blogworld?

Thank you!

Jennifer

Kidney Infections Suck

2008-11-17T10:01:00.004-05:00

Still sick. Still trusting. Kidney stones suck. Kidney infections suck even more. Sick since mid August. Even hospital stay didn't cure. Husband in India til Saturday. Kids helping some- fighting some. Everyone missing Daddy. Waiting for lab results. In-laws coming Friday. Sweet friends ready to help. There is peace. God is good.

I Needed that Peace After All

2008-10-09T11:21:00.002-05:00

Ok, pride could keep me from admitting this but it won't. I'm sick. Kidney infection and 8mm kidney stone sick. Intestinal infection sick. Seven types of medication sick. Sooo, it's become obvious that I needed that extra measure of peace, no? It's also completely clear that my idiotic refusal to go to a doctor until the pain was unbearable made this situation worse. I KNOW what kidney stones feel like since I had one before. In all honesty, I always wait too long to see a doc. so hopefully this is the wake up call needed to break my stubborn streak in this area. I crafted my last blog entry while enduring this misery for heaven's sake! So while I've got this great unfathomable Peace, I'm also acutely aware that I'm as hard-headed as a mule. Is there a lesson? Yep. Listen more than you speak in conversation with God. The Holy Spirit should not be ignored, nor should you ignore your own body telling you that something's wrong! Still learning, still growing, still thankful that He's not finished with me yet.

Our family is also under some heavy-duty pressure because of the financial market crisis. My husband works for one of those huge, international investment firms that's caught up in the bad-mortgage mess. He's pleased daily just to not get sent home for good with a box of personal effects from his desk. To be clear, he has no designated parking space, not company car, no expense account, and no high- falutin' salary...he just one of the faceless rabble who does the daily grind to make those guys look good. Not only would it be a horrible time for look for a new job, but our adoption dreams may come to an end after an almost 3 year wait. The Peace I've described is a comforting balm in this area as well. Lesson here? Just trust. Even when life hurts or doesn't make sense, He's sovereign. All His thoughts toward me are holy even when there's pain.

Now after these pitiful admissions, it's so imperative that I point out that since my diagnosis, precious friends have stepped up to cover us with prayer and bring in dinners for my family! Living so far from our families has made us pretty self-sufficient so at this point we're still learning to accept help from church and friends. The awesome Worship Team at Chet's Creek Church has been bringing in food for weeks now and to be honest my heart is so full it's hard to describe our thankfulness for their faithful hearts and willing hands. God is just so good to provide for us during this trying time. The lesson here, is that my tendency to refuse help from people in my life is nothing but pure pride and God is pruning that part of me through this experience.

So yes, there was Peace Like a River. And it was necessary. And it was on time. And my "God Who Sees Me" provided it even though I was unwilling to admit that I needed it. Amazing. It's part of the Fruit of the Spirit which is mine through salvation in Christ! So that Peace that washed over me in my denial is still washing over me as I heal and grow and watch God move in my life.

Peace Like a River

2008-09-03T12:59:00.004-05:00

Do you ever have peace flood over you for seemingly no reason whatsoever? The last few days I've experienced that sensation multiple times even though there's no stress: ( none that's unusual in my typical daily grind ) there seems to be an excess of calm reassurance and a bubbling up of almost giddy joy....whassup with that? Don't get me wrong, we have a pretty laid-back household with lots of laughter and singing and general silliness- but this is different. Like I've just received long-awaited great news which brings ease and peace of mind, but no such news has come. Hmmmmmm.

Bear in mind I totally get that His peace is mine whenever I choose to access it- but this is some sort of extra measure of calm. And I'm a pretty calm girl. Like I've said before, I am in a never-ending battle to convince my children that "drama-free" living is the way to go. So far they don't seem to want to join my crusade to end all self-imposed drama, but give me time. I can be very convincing!

Sadly,in my cynical mind there's an inclination to assume that there must be something dark and painful looming in my future if there's extra quiet in my soul. Not this time brother! I'm just gonna revel in it and trust. Yes, trust.

Psalm 131:2

Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with his mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me- ceased from fretting.

Thoughts on China Adoption

2008-08-27T08:48:00.005-05:00

One of the reasons I let this blog lie for so long is this: I haven't known how to address the adoption wait in my mind- much less in written words that make sense. I am by nature an encourager and while I do have a dark, rather cynical side- I typically keep that ugliness to myself. It seemed that the doubts plaguing me were outweighing my need to urge others forward. In other words, if I couldn't write positively then I shouldn't write at all. I haven't even journaled much on paper in the last year or so.

So it's time to go there. Yes, in fact...we are still adopting from China. How much longer you ask? Well about another year or so- the same answer I've been giving friends & family since April of 2006. ( I'm not sure it will be another year but after quoting that number for so long it's kinda hard to let it go.) And it's even harder to look the fool for being even slightly optimistic at this point. Ahem, I think I just tattled on myself- that's an awfully prideful statement,no?

What I tell people when they frown and shake their heads at the time we've spent waiting is that, "it is what it is...". Does frustration bring peace? Does angst and anger towards governments, cultural traditions & perceived abuses of power along with miles, miles, (miles I tell you!) of red tape bring action, power or an ending to the wait? NOPE. And please don't think I'm only talking the China side of it. A huge portion of baloney to muddle through in this process originates right here in this country.

In all reality I haven't felt angry yet. Sad, yes. Very sad at times at the powerlessness of it all. The orphaned children being the most powerless of all. In my ugly flesh I'd like to chuck it all at times and just admit that this obviously wasn't meant to be. Then the truth slowly washes back over me. To chuck anything that's hard or painful with the belief that God isn't in the hard stuff is pure folly. I know better. It's the pain in my life that's challenged me to grow. Not that I'm pinning the hard stuff on God. He's not orchestrating the wait any more than He's ordaining the abandonment of little children all over the world- including here in the good ol' USA. It just is what it is and all I'm responsible for is my reaction to the mess of it.

BTW, we aren't in this only to bring a 4th child into our family. If we were we would have made the choice to move to adopt from another country. Or we could have pursued a child who needs a family right here in north Florida. However, my husband was drawn specifically to China before he ever fully grabbed onto the idea of us adopting. So maybe that makes the wait less painful for our family. Or maybe it somehow makes the pain of it worthwhile. Who knows? I do know there's been grace I couldn't have come up with on my own. I have in the past had very, VERY little toleration for any nonsense. Oh, you want ME to put up with something that makes no sense? Uh, that's a great big no. Ask my kids- they'll tell you with wide-eyed grins....nope- Mom doesn't put up with any of that! This process has been full of nonsense since day one but maybe that's the whole point, huh? Not to make it about me- it's not. But I'm confident that God sees all of it. And we've taken the steps He's required of us. And if a precious child from China does come into our home as our 6th family member then good. If not- (yeah, I'm not ruling out that this could very well fall apart at any minute)- then good. He's good no matter. That I'm sure of...

So I've finally addressed it. And tattled on myself. Yes, I struggle with pride and cynicism, and doubts. And temper- yes that too. But I press on. I press in. And I keep on trying to spur others on in this graceless situation with the grace that's given. This whole deal is not about me. That's clear. But I do have something finally to say about it all. It is what it is. And He's so very, very good.

Not Sure What's Ahead....

2008-08-15T15:50:00.005-05:00

So many things up in the air. In several areas we are on hold right now and I sometimes struggle with the not-knowing. At this point I've nailed down the ability to just look ahead with the idea that I don't have a clue what's coming but it's bound to be interesting....kind of like this picture, but without the creepiness. BTW, this is north Florida in the early early spring- well it would still be winter where we come from but here things are starting to leaf out and come to life. Pretty cool, huh? It was a little ominous to see this green water knowing there's quite possibly ALL KINDS of creepy-crawleys under that slimy coating, but also very beautiful against all the brown from the previous fall. The contrast is striking and is a good picture of what my life is like right now. I'm choosing to look at the beauty of it, not at the unknowns.

If my life were an adventure, then the Author and Finisher of my faith is leading the tour... and He's not telling us where we're going next. He's promised to always be with us but never promised to fill us in on the details of what's to come. So I'll wisely keep letting Him drive the bus, so to speak. (Is that irreverant?) And I'll look for the beauty. And be content with the joy of seeing beauty near me- in the lives of the precious people in my life and in the wonderful creation around me.

I'm Baaaaaaack!

2008-08-08T16:11:00.003-05:00

Well, it's been over a year. I'm back with a few more gray hairs, a few less pounds and a whole lot more perspective.

Still God's child- still wife of my husband- still parent to some pretty awesome kids- still adopting a child from China- still singin' and cookin'....those points haven't changed thankfully but much has in the way I see my life. For the better, to be sure.

Psalm 131:2

Surely I have calmed & quieted my soul; like a weaned child with his mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me [ceased from fretting}.

Are You Ready for the Summer?

2007-05-28T18:18:00.000-05:00

It's here. The big S. What my kids and many like them yearn for all schoolyear long. Their last day was the 24th and so we enter our first full week of sleeping late, long days at the beach, swatting countless bugs, swimming at the neighborhood pool, math camp for at least one math-challenged child, chasing lizards, riding bikes, golf camp and long morning walks in the steamy orange of dawn. Of course it's also the beginning of increased sibling spats, having to force them every.blasted.day to read for at least 20 minutes, do 20 minutes of math facts and at least one chore before heading out to find friends. (And having to hear how bored everyone is as well.) To make things easier I have instituted a law requiring anyone using the term "bored" or "boring" to immediately perform their most detested chore. Also to send all children caught arguing to either pick weeds or lay down in their beds, whichever brings about the most groaning and rolling of eyes by the arguers. Or both if I'm in the right frame of mind. Yep, I'm ready for the good times. Bring 'em on!

The Artist

2007-05-18T07:58:00.000-05:00

This is my youngest son, The Artist. Thought it was time to add a picture of him to the blog that didn't showcase his nostrils.

He is a handsome, charming young man who always keeps us laughing..well, sometimes he has us yelling since he can be soooo headstrong when he's not being funny. But he was born to enjoy life and does his best to find the fun in.every.single.situation. No kidding...even the chore of sweeping up the kitchen floor has to turn into a game of shuffleboard for this one. He loves loves LOVES to make us all laugh, but cannot stand to be mocked. If "coolness" was a personality trait-he's got it.This boy is one of the most creative people I know....and can ride a pretty mean boogie board too.!

They can drive me to raise my voice above a holler, but these kids of mine are such incredible individuals. I find myself forever thankful that my Man and I get to raise *these* kids!

Speaking of Ch-Ch-Changes

2007-05-15T07:51:00.000-05:00

This is what my family looked like two years ago when we began our adoption journey. Let's just say that we've all aged since then. My kids look so little! Now they're all a little cooler and a whole lot taller than they were in this picture. When I think that we have as little as a year still to wait for our 4th child, and maybe as much as 2 years, I want to cry a little. Instead I'm holding on to this. Our dream to adopt is a gift. Each day between now and the day we meet our Baby Girl is a gift. The three awesome kids in the outdated picture are a gift. That wonderful man by my side is a gift. God began this good work and I'm confident He will complete it. I'm trying to be confident that we will have what we need to raise this Baby Girl as we cruise into our 40's. He's putting our family together and making us all whole! I want the meditations of my heart to focus on the gifts and the beauty and the joy of this long journey. Today I choose contentment.

Ch-Ch-Changes!

2007-05-07T07:13:00.000-05:00

Ever feel like something's getting ready to change? Like God has something coming, not always a blessing and not always a challenge- but you can tell you're in the waiting room for an appointment with a sanctified experience that He has appointed for your life?

I do.

I have until recently, felt like my family was in a waiting room and not quite sure what was coming, but was open and ready to welcome whatever God had for me and my husband. I'm sure there's no scriptural basis for all these "feelings", but no matter- it had me prepared for a rather small change in our lives. Trivial, really, but interesting nonetheless. Exciting in some ways because now I have an idea of at least one of the appointments He has for us. We don't know if this is the only "appointment" we're waiting for, but it's good to feel that other shoe drop, so to speak, and with a collective sigh, exhale as we are assigned a new road to walk.

A week or so ago, my husband came home with the news that his company is outsourcing his department to another country, and his job, as assistant vp in the section will be to make sure the transition is as smooth and successful as possible. In other words, over the next 8 months or so, he needs to work himself out of a job. Now this is the same company that brought us from Colorado to Florida, and while it was hard to leave precious family behind, God made the path here straight and level. My husband struggled more with that move than I did, but on we came and really love where we are now.

I'm so darn proud of his attitude towards this news that I can hardly stand it. While many in his position would take a daily soak in a pool of anger and frustration, he is committed to the idea that this is just another opportunity to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit in his life. He is confident that when he has done this job to the glory of God, there will be something else waiting for him- either with this company or another. This change will also come down in the months just before we hopefully will be heading to China to adopt our Baby Girl. This could complicate things as we will need to be in China for at least 2 weeks which is often frowned upon at a new job. ;-)

In some ways this has given us more "unknowns" in our life, but it a way we feel relieved to see God moving. We are so thankful to be in a place where we can see this as an opportunity rather than a challenge. We've no idea of where this road leads, but we are committed to walk it with grace and contentment rather than be dragged- kicking and screaming- to a new place, literally or figuratively.

While I know this is a small thing, I have in the past faltered in my walk over less. We know we can be joyful about things that the world sees as negative- not happy but COMPLETELY JOYFUL! These verses are what I'm chewing on this morning:

Consider it wholly joyful, my bretheren, whenever you are enveloped in or encounter trials of any sort or fall into various temptations. Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience. But let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work, so that you may be people perfectly and fully developed with no defects, lacking in nothing.

James 1:2-4 Amp.

As Cute As Cheesy Grins Get

2007-04-19T09:12:00.000-05:00

I love this picture of my oldest two. They fight like any kids born 18 months apart probably do- but they were having a good moment on this day at the Alligator Farm in St. Augustine. Sweaty and smiley and definately not competing for the moment....

The pretty girl on the left is my DramaQueen, and on the right is my strapping firstborn son- The Businessman. Hard to believe this picture is almost a year old already. It seems that time is only flying faster each day, but that's not a bad thing when your kids are turning out to be such incredible people.

My thankful heart is full.

Deep Thoughts

2007-04-16T07:59:00.000-05:00

Truth is truth. Even when it comes from the mouth of a lovable hillbilly cartoon character which also happens to be a tow truck:

"I don't need to know where I'm goin'...I jus' need to know where I've been."

'Mater (as in T 'mater the tow truck from Disney's 'Cars' movie)

God is awesome. He can speak through a donkey and He can speak through talking tow trucks....but are we listening?

quick edit *** please read the 22nd chapter of the book of Numbers if you've never read the story of Balaam and his talking donkey!

God's Word never ceases to amaze me!

Mucus and Dead Screens

2007-04-02T08:58:00.000-05:00

We're starting to see a break in the clouds around here. The mucus-filled hacking is starting to recede and we HOPE to be on the mend soon. This stuff has kicked my ample behind and I wonder when I will be able to load my dishwasher or fold laundry without breaking a sweat and getting shaky. I'm wondering *when* I'll ever feel better?

On another pitiful note, my laptop is dead. Well not dead, but the screen is blank which is a problem. From what I've googled, the backlight is not working and needs to be replaced...

So in other words, my laptop is dead. The joy of my laptop doesn't justify the cost, especially considering the fact that I just spent 60 bucks on a new power cord since the one that came with the silly thing died a couple of months ago. What's so funny is that since the laptop is dead, I should be getting SO MUCH MORE DONE around here. However the mucus and the hacking and the sweating and the shaking are not contributing to my ability or motivation to get caught up on the homefront. I'm wondering *what* a balanced life of working yet abiding looks like?

If all that's not exciting enough, this week my Main Man and I are going to spend 140$ to get fingerprinted by the FBI for our China adoption. Again. Our old ones expire in May and we probably won't travel until next spring. (That's a 2 year wait!!!!) We also have a very important document which is set to expire this summer which gives us permission to bring Lily home as our child-and gives her US citizenship when we land in the states. That's a biggie-and the fee is set to go up to over 600$ in June. We paid this fee once and are not thrilled to have to pay it again after the fee increase. We could always pay it early but run the risk of it expiring before we return from our China trip next year. I'm wondering *how* God is going to complete this good work He began in us?

I'm watching the expenses pile up and watching my job as childcare provider come to an end. The kids I've been watching don't need to be watched so much anymore and I am starting to wonder how I can contribute to the household finances once again. I've thought of doing some personal chef type stuff for some working moms I hang with, but they're feeling a pinch in the old pocketbook too. I certainly can't beat 49 cent burgers at the McPalace. I'm wondering *who* I need to become to contribute more to this adoption, our finances, the world that I live in?

My questions don't have ready answers, but I am holding on tightly to the One I am sure of.

Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in You.
Show me the way I should go, for to You I lift up my soul.

Psalm 143:8

Wheezie

2007-03-26T13:44:00.000-05:00

That's my new nickname around here- no, I do not resemble Louise Jefferson, and right now we are not really movin' on up, nor do we live in de-luxe apartment in the sky-y-y. I am sick with bronchitis and my husband has taken to calling me Wheezie. Isn't he funny? I don't mind though, 'cause we do tend to laugh a lot at ourselves around here and he's just giving me a little help. I bust his chops aplenty, so turnabout *is* fair play. He is my best friend and he makes me laugh better than anyone else. Laughing really is good medicine, except when it makes you cough.

The buzz in my chest has gotten worse, so the doctor has prescribed some steroids, some antibiotics and an inhaler to get me back on my feet. Yuck. I'm jittery and feverish and feeling overall pretty awful. I have less than 2 weeks to kick this stuff, since I'm singing at our church's Easter services. Wish me well-and our kids too. This stuff seems to travel well and they would be miserable with all the wheezing and not sleeping and coughing up of lung-tissue, and shaky jittering that comes with the illness and its 55 dollar cure. I don't even want to think about the moaning and hacking and copays and walmart prescription bills if the kids got this nasty stuff.

Well, it's time for Wheezie to either take a pill or a nap, but instead I think I'll take my daughter to her girl's running club instead. Yay me!

The Crud Has Crept

2007-03-22T08:02:00.000-05:00

It's official. My Man has bronchitis and a sinus infection.

It's official. I have the creeping crud too-not having been to the doctor yet I won't say it's bronchitis, but seeing as how I've had it almost every year since junior high, I can confidently say it is so. If history proves to be reliable, I will cough until June.

Our house guests arrive tonight around 9pm.

The house is close to being ready, but it still needs work.

The grocery store is waiting for me to come in for the 3rd time in a week and spend 100$.

The flowers haven't even been bought, much less planted- my planters are naked.

My kids are being a huge help, especially when I nag and cough real loud.

I have been up for 45 minutes and I think I need a nap.

In Which Personal Pronouns Abound

2007-03-21T17:07:00.000-05:00

I mentioned in my first post that I actually lose sleep wondering what I'm here for. I acknowledge that God has given so much- I almost hate to use the word "blessed" since it's so way over-used that it's become a term of the world. My marriage and children are wonderful. I am passionate about living a life of worship and am trying to pass that on to my children. We live in a beautiful area with great schools and I'm serving at a fantastic church that is getting more "outwardly focused" every day. We are attempting to be a funnel rather than a bowl when it comes to our finances. I have committed to live life openly, with no pretense or game-playing so others don't have to try to figure me out. No matter who I have contact with during my days, I try to make each moment count...to see each individual as a divine appointment. I'm not always successful, but I'm giving it all I've got. That's not what keeps me up in the lonely dark hours of the night. What I lay awake wondering about is, what have I been made for? What is my, "for such a time as this"?

When I read what I said in the comments over at journeymama yesterday, I get a little embarrassed at how childish and selfish I sound. "I don't want it to be all about ME!", but I'm talking an awful lot about what I want...I want to be used, I want my life to make a difference, I want God to touch people through me. Wow. Embarrassing!

Being God's child is indescribably beautiful. Being a wife to my husband, mother to my kids and friend to all those that I meet is a privilege that I cherish.

Yet I still have this restless heart. Not unhappy or lacking in contentment. Just restless.

Please let this life that has experienced it's share of joy and pain be about more than "the journey".

Creeping Crud

2007-03-20T19:33:00.000-05:00

This is what I get for sleeping with a man who's been sick for over 2 weeks. And kissing him on the mouth even though he has this nagging cough that won't.go.away. Saturday night I started purring like a cat when I exhale--not conducive to a restful night's sleep. No stuffy nose, no sneezing, no headache. It starts with purring soon followed by a hacking, yucky cough. It's
exactly how my husband's crud started and now I guess it's my turn. Tomorrow he will finally go to the doctor to hopefully get something to KILL THE CRUD. Of course I waited until my kids were off of school for spring break to develop my purr, which makes me sound like either a contented kitty or a 2 pack a day smoker....lovely timing considering the fact that I have house guests coming in from Colorado on Thursday.

Since I spent most of my day today baking bread and making lasagna to take to a friend across town who just had her first child, I didn't do a thing to get our house ready.

Let's see...I still need to:

-clean everything-like I said the other day over at Owlhaven, I'm no NeatNick, but I try to be respectful of guests for goodness sake

-go spend a hundred dollars in groceries that won't last til the weekend

-catch up on laundry....ha ha ha ha ha ha!

-go choose and purchase plants and flowers for various planters and hanging baskets (this is always so hard for me to do alone-I need my mom's advice and she lives far away.)

-plant the flowers and plants and then clean up the giant mess I will surely make

-break up countless fights and moderate umpteen confrontations with my kids who are bored with a capital B

-force the Bored Children to get up, brush teeth, read 20 minutes and do 1 household chore before they run out the door to play all day with all of their Bored Friends (or bring several Bored Kids back home with them which is oh so fun when you need to clean house)

Mmmmmmmmm...makes me tired just typing it all out, and now I think I have a fever.

Wish me well, I think I'm gonna need it!

China Adoption

2007-03-18T12:48:00.000-05:00

My family is adopting from China...I feel like we've been telling people that for a couple of years now. Wait-I HAVE been telling people that for over 2 years. We started to believe in January of 2005 that it was something we were supposed to do. In fact we had talked about it years ago when we were dating waaaayy back in the 80's. I'll have to document here some other time how we were called to adopt and how we chose China. Our LID is 4/29/06 and when we began the paperchase in the fall of '05, the wait was running about 6-8 months to be matched with a baby. In everything we saw from our agency (AWAA), 6 months should be expected for the paperwork phase and 6-8 months for the waiting phase. Then add a couple of months for travel planning and the 2 week trip to China and you'd have a 12 to 16 month wait total. So we went in to this whole thing planning to have her home by Christmas 2006! Obviously, things have slowed down considerably, but we are doing our best to "live in the moment" and ENJOY THIS JOURNEY DARNIT! (whether we like it or not!). We don't want the estimated 24 months of our waiting phase to be defined by frustration and angst. I don't want to remember this as "The waiting for Lily time". (Yep, we're naming her Lily.) No, the kids we're parenting now deserve more from us than that. What I think frustrates us all so much is the thought of a child sitting there, WAITING to be brought home to a loving, attentive family. In reality, she has no idea that we even exist or how dramatically her little world is going to change when this old weird, smiling, crying couple with big noses shows up. In our case, she may not have been born yet, so to let anxiety consume me would not be beneficial-told you I'm practical, didn't I?

I do feel bad for the whole waiting China Adoption community though--and it's one biiiiiig community. It is so hard to wait and watch and and it often doesn't seem like our turn will ever come. What keeps me grounded is knowing that although there's a wonderful purpose in us adopting this baby girl from China, every day between now and then has a purpose as well. I think I've wasted too many of my adult days looking ahead to ...well, whatever is just out of reach. I looked forward to marriage, children, sleeping all night, potty trained kids, days with kids who could entertain each other or at least themselves....you get the idea. Not this time. Since we have no control of any of it now, we're just living like we always do-with the exception of reading a lot of adoption books. Heck, we haven't even painted her room or purchased any little girly pink outfits. We'll save that fun part for after Christmas when hopefully things start to look a little more solid for us. So I'll update when anything happens worth posting!

My Kids So Totally Rock

2007-03-16T12:01:00.000-05:00

Wow, I love my kids. I see more and more every day why they've been entrusted to me and my Main Squeeze. Thank God, He is teaching me every day through them. I also think they're cool. (yeah, a relative term since I'm a total nerd-but from where I stand, they're 3 ultra-cool kids) Their little personalities and character-traits continue to amaze me-how did they end up so cool, so smart and so beautiful? Of course they frequently fight like cats and dogs and roll their eyes at me like mini teenagers-but that will only drive me insane if I let it. ( We had a good morning today before they left for school, so I'll just run with the good vibes! )

I'll introduce them all to you in time but the picture I have easy access to is of kid #3.

Our youngest is Mr. Artsy Fartsy-he's the 8 year old who'd rather not go outside to use his camera that doesn't have a flash. He can use Q-tips and string and various bits from the trash to make a really cool boat...and then float it in the gutter during a gully washer and beam with pride when it floats away and melts in the warm summer rain. He's all about the experience, you see. He has huge blue eyes that tilt downward ever so slightly at the edges making him irresistible-especially when he's upset and the tears begin to well up in those giant peepers. He can make his Mom laugh so hard that she pees her pants, and has on more than one occasion. He's headstrong yet affectionate-physical touch is his love language, which means he's usually crawling all over someone (his parents mostly) . I have a feeling he'll be a great musician someday-he's got my love of music, but is way more talented than I was at his age. He's the kind of kid who wonders what his nose-hairs look like, so he runs to get the camera to get a quick shot of them..how else can you get a good look up your nose after all?

I present to you: The Artist .....in a great nose-flare-action-shot!

Sometime soon we'll take a closer look a the other two RockStarKids- Kid #2, aka The Drama Queen, and Kid #1 better know as The Businessman.

Watcha Got Cookin'?

2007-03-15T17:28:00.000-05:00

You'll never guess what's on the menu...posole wiiiiiiiith TORTILLAS! Pretty pitiful, I know. I can at least say that it's all homemade. I had an awful lot of leftover carnitas from Sunday and didn't want to throw away meat, for goodness sake. Well, to be truthful I did get the hominy out of a can and the tortillas are store-bought. I've made them before and can't say that my flour tortillas are better than store bought, but my homemade corn tortillas? Way better. This post is only proving to me that I'm a mess, and my kids are gonna holler in a minute when I tell them what smells so yummy in the kitchen. They.are.sick.of.Mexican.food.

I'm thinking of changing the name of this under-construction blog to "The Tortilla Files"

But the question of the day is , "would anyone even notice?" Ha!

Things That Make You Go Hmmm...

2007-03-15T12:07:00.000-05:00

"A heart that trusts is a heart that rejoices." Beth Moore

I heard this earlier today and am still chewing on it....

Right now I'm trying to get my mind around the idea and what it means for my heart...in fact there is really only one area in my life that my heart continually aches over. Why is that? Why on earth do I think that it's safer for me to be in charge of *it*; that I can do a better job of working it out than God can? Am I ready to learn to trust Him with this thing that I never seem to get a break from thinking about?

To be honest, I always thought I was trusting Him with this thing that seems to be keeping me from truly experiencing Perfect Peace. The fact that my mind is forever turning and churning on this one same topic shows me that I still need to surrender more to my Father. Until I do there will be no peace for me in that area of my life and certainly no joy. Continuing to pray about it means that I haven't ever really released it-in fact my nails appear to be dug into my that prayer request (read worst fear) and my knuckles are turning white from the pressure of holding on!

Definitely made me go hmmm.

[I need to point out that both of the dark, fuzzy pictures of me posted so far on this blog were some of my youngest son's first pictures with his camera-it has no flash and he insists on taking pictures of me INSIDE THE HOUSE AT NIGHT! Oh well, they have an interesting look to them anyway and he happens to be my favorite 8 year old-so I'll keep uploading them :o)]

Everyone's Favorite Frump

2007-03-14T11:41:00.000-05:00

It struck me today in a profound way that I am not a fun person....practical yes, but fun? No.

I have fun people in my life, but do I do fun things with them? No.

Has it been my habit to plan fun things and then do them with people that I care about? No.

Aside from special occasions with my husband and kids or when certain family comes in from out of town, I don't "do" fun.

Maybe my being everyone's favorite frumpy friend is a result of being too darn practical. I do have friends that I enjoy spending time with but to be honest, I am more practical to have around than fun. Will I pick up groceries for friends when I'm out? Yes. Will I buy them lunch and just show up at their house ready to surprise them with a treat? No.

I am not the friend you call when you feel like heading to the mall for lunch and some shopping: I am the friend you call when your kids are puking and you need someone to bring Gatorade and 7-up from the store. I am not the friend you call to share with when you have great news; I am the one you call when you need prayer or spiritual advice.

I am reliable, responsible, hardworking, encouraging, dependable-but fun? No.

Apart from my friendship with my husband ( who likes my practicality) , I am coming to realize that I am Mentor to all and Friend to none. I have made myself into a practical part of other peoples' lives-I know it's my doing. There's no mistreatment here...I have no one to blame but myself. Pretty sad and pathetic but true.

In fact instead of going out to lunch with friends, I think I'll head in to the kitchen right now to heat up my leftovers from dinner last night. Yep, I'm practical alright.

Tortilla Blues Update

2007-03-12T17:40:00.000-05:00

Since Daddy is at a business dinner tonight, (Carrabba's in case you wondered), and I don't need to "cook" per se, the children are putting their mutiny plans on hold. Whew! It's noodles and a salad for them and ....drumroll please....leftovers for The Frump! Yes, my dinner will involve at least one small flour tortilla (ok, maybe 2) and some leftover homemade carnitas tucked lovingly inside with avocado, pico, queso fresco and a squirt of fresh lime juice. Mmmmm.

Tortilla Blues

2007-03-11T18:16:00.000-05:00

Is it wrong that I've fed my family something wrapped in a tortilla 3 nights in a row? I think my kids are planning a revolt if tomorrow's dinner doesn't involve something other than corn or flour tortillas with something yummy tucked in side for dinner- Main Squeeze and I are happy with tortillas no matter how often they're served. Just goes to show that raising them in a southern state instead of CO has changed what they like to eat. When they were toddlers back out west, they loved tortillas for snacks, wraps, dessert or as the bread portion of almost any meal. Oh well, they are finally starting to like grits, so I can't really complain!

The Frump Queen is Starting a Blog

2007-03-09T17:19:00.000-05:00

Welcome to my blog. I've been thinking of starting one for quite some time now, but am completely intimidated by the whole thing, what with codes and spammers and trolls and all. Please be patient with me as I'm a self-described techno-moron....no really, I'm clueless so I'll be surprised if any of this even works. Hang in there with me as I learn the ropes of the blogging world.

OK, it's true that I spend a lot of time wallowing in self-depricating humor, but to be honest I know I'm quite possibly NOT the frumpiest of the frumpy housewives who do life in the suburbs of America, but I bet I'm close! I'm in my 30's, I live in the deep south with my Main Squeeze (please hear ONLY squeeze) who is by far my most favorite person, and my 3 awesome kids who are next in line as far as favorite people go. I stay home with my kids and occasionally babysit some of my friends' kids while they are working so I can earn a little extra grocery money. A typical day involves getting kids out the door for school, then housework and spending too much time online before cooking dinner for the fam. and going to bed without having done the dinner dishes. Shocking, I know. Our life is not exciting and I mean that in a good way. The only drama around here is generated by our kids, but my husband and I are trying to win them over to the drama-free lifestyle. Although I am a homemaker by the loosest of descriptions, Martha Stewart and Flylady would be mortified at the results of my endeavors in housekeeping. None of that bothers me though...what keeps me up at night is wondering what on earth I've been created for? Is this the purpose for my Purpose Driven Life?

Come along on my journey to "peace with myself" as I learn to trust my Father to complete the good work He began in me long ago. It may not be exciting, but it's bound to be fun!